tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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