I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
