remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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