so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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