The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
