Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You did what with his pubic hair?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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