three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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