Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
