Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
