Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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