Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
