Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
