Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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