Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
it was like eating out sand paper
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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