she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
