the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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