WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
