those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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