need another drink. this is the easiest way
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dick very happy bro
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
