is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
