toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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