The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
