Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
