She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm getting married
To pizza
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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