He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
