Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
