OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize