Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
