Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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