that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
