I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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