We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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