glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
