peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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