Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize