shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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