dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
