I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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