If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
