Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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