i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
