That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
