I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
