sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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