He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
