The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I AM VODKA MAN
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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