Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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