and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
