So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize