I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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