Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Fuck appropriateness.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
