chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize