He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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