i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
