And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
