you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
