I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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