The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
