We named our party play list daddy issues
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
