that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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