is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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