Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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