Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She told me I should be a condom model.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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