I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
