i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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