See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
