i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm just crazy horny about you
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
