She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
