So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
