it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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