About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I am naked and annoyed.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize