Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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