I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
