I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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